Monthly Archives: March 2008

heretic Quiz (Find out if you are a heretic)

Are you a heretic?
created with QuizFarm.com
You scored as Chalcedon compliant

You are Chalcedon compliant. Congratulations, you’re not a heretic. You believe that Jesus is truly God and truly man and like us in every respect, apart from sin. Officially approved in 451.

Chalcedon compliant

100%

Monarchianism

67%

Nestorianism

67%

Monophysitism

33%

Pelagianism

33%

Modalism

33%

Adoptionist

33%

Apollanarian

33%

Albigensianism

0%

Donatism

0%

Arianism

0%

Gnosticism

0%

Docetism

0%

Socinianism

0%


Ten people to avoid at the ballpark

Found this on Peter Abraham’s BlogHilarious… I know what he is talking about…

There are few things better than watching a game in person with your buddies. But every ballpark does have a few people who detract from the experience. Here are my top 10 least favorite people at the ballpark:

1. People who bring their vanity license plates to games and wave them around. We’re all quite impressed, “Yanks4Eva” and “GoYankz”

2. Drunks. Why would you spent so much money on tickets, gas and parking and then crush so many $8.50 beers that you can’t remember half of what happened the next day? It makes no sense. Meanwhile, they’re loud, obnoxious and usually fans of the other team.

3. Know-it-alls. Nothing worse than sitting next to the guy who knows somebody who knows Cashman’s dry cleaner and he knows for sure the Yankees are getting Albert Pujols.

4. People who keep getting up. Over nine innings, you should get up once, twice if you’re female. Go to the bathroom, get something to eat then sit back down and don’t get up again until the game is over. Stop making people in your row get up.

5. People waving signs trying to get on ESPN or Fox. This isn’t a game show. Sit down.

6. There are two categories of cell-phone users who need savage beatings. First is the guy who has a friend in the crowd eight sections over and calls him so they can wave at each other. Your friend knows what you look like, bozo.

Then there are the people who sit in box seats and call their friends watching at home and wave every time the camera catches them in the background. Teams should employ snipers to wound these people.

7. People who swear at the players. How badly has your life gone that you feel compelled to come to the park and yell obscene words at somebody playing baseball? Trust me, when the player goes back to his huge house and his insanely hot wife that night, you calling him names doesn’t make him feel bad.

8. People trying to start The Wave. The Wave is a plague on sports. It’s 50,000 people saying, “Look at us, we’re all mindless and we don’t care about the game.” Thankfully Yankee Stadium is largely Waveless.

9. Trampy girls at batting practice. This always brings a smile. No matter what stadium you’re in, you see scantily clad women in stripper heels posing near the dugout trying to catch the attention of the players. This strategy may work in the minors. But do you really think Jeter is going to look up and say, “Hey, purple halter, Room 812 at the Westin tonight.”

10. Adult autograph seekers. I think players should be contractually mandated to sign 10 autographs every day for kids. But once you’re 18, give it up. Let the kids through. I’m always disgusted at the get-a-lifers who jockey for position with children.


Christos Anesti

“The Cool of the tomb

The heat of the sun,

Returning to remedy

What was undone.

 

 

The spices in hand,

The ointment in jar

Daybreak excursion

That didn’t get far.

 

 

The guard was asleep

The stone rolled away

The body was gone,

What could they say?

 

 

Did someone steal in

Under cover of night

Purloin the body

Vanish from sight?

 

 

Was he moved by the gardener,

As he cleaned up the mess?

The women would wonder

In the midst of distress.

 

 

The angel attendants

Sat idly by,

‘Why are you weeping?’

Was their instant reply.

 

 

Cruel question or pointless

Why need they to ask?

‘They have stolen his body,

And I can’t do my task’

 

 

What kind of cruel villain

Disturbs the dead,

Was his death not enough

Was there no mortal dread?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Had all of Christ’s miracles

Led to this end,

To a grave and a tomb,

And the loss of a friend?

 

 

Could the great Physician

Not heal himself then

Not avert disaster

Not rise up again?

 

 

Jairus’ daughter

The Nain widow’s son,

The Beloved Disciple

But what of the One?

 

 

Who would come to his rescue,

Who would champion his cause,

Who would touch his cold body,

Who would unwrap the gauze?

 

 

No mortal dared enter

Was sacrilege done?

Who stole their poor Jesus,

God’s only Son?

 

 

Not empty tomb or angels,

Could assuage such deep grief

Or convince he was risen,

Or provide soul relief.

 

 

No vision of the Master,

No delusion too grand,

Could overcome disaster,

Could meet their demand.

 

 

‘They would see Jesus,’

He must call them by name,

No similar stranger

Their hopes could reclaim.

 

 

But then in an instant,

‘Miriam’ and she ran…

And suddenly she was clinging

To the risen Son of Man.

 

 

 

‘Go tell the disciples,

Go tell them it’s so

God’s yes to life,

Is louder than death’s no!’

 

 

So Miriam went proclaiming

So says the script

The males maligned the preacher

Women’s ‘fantasies’ they quipped.

 

 

Empty tomb insufficient

Angelic vision grand or gruff

Even an ascended Jesus

Wasn’t resurrection enough.

 

It was Jesus’ appearances

To friend and to foe

That turned around history,

Showed it where to go.

 

 

The denier was restored

The deserters were found

The women who were grieving

Were all turned around.

 

 

And Saul the assaulter

Stopped dead in his tracks,

Saw Jesus arisen

And finally turned back.

 

 

And James his own brother,

Who had previously sneered (Jn. 7.5)

Began to believe

Just because he appeared.

 

 

No one witnessed Easter

At the dawn of that day,

But they saw the result,

Meeting Him on the way.

 

 

On the road to Emmaus

Or in mid-flight from the tomb

Or hiding in darkness,

Or near Damascus’ gloom.

 

 

 

They didn’t find Jesus,

No dreams calmed their fears

What changed their whole lives

Was when Jesus appeared.

 

 

The story’s too improbable

NOT to be true,

And that is why Easter,

Can still happen for you.”

 

Thank you Ben Witherington…


The Risen Christ: Satisfied with His Suffering

John Piper on Easter…


Woman Goes for Leg Operation, Gets New Anus Instead

This is why I do not want universal health care…

 

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

A German retiree is taking a hospital to court after she went in for a leg operation and got a new anus instead, the Daily Telegraph is reporting.

The woman woke up to find she had been mixed up with another patient suffering from incontinence who was to have surgery on her sphincter.

The clinic in Hochfranken, Bavaria, has since suspended the surgical team.

Now the woman is planning to sue the hospital. She still needs the leg operation and is searching for another hospital to do it.


Something I wish I wrote…

It brings me great sadness to report that a person whom I once considered a dear brother has gone apostate from the faith. With joy we used to go together to the house of the Lord, yet he has now chosen a life of corruption over Christ. After many admonishments from brothers he has shown no interest in parting with his idolatrous lifestyle and even attempts to justify it with religion, citing that the Bible does not really mean what it says. At this point I can only mourn and pray that God grant him repentance.

But to this it makes me all the more earnest to contend for what we have, for the rich blessings we have in Christ:

Earnestly contend for heaven, dear Christian, for Christ is too precious to part with on ANY terms. By God’s grace stand resolved to make war on all that stands between you and heaven. Use the talents Christ has given you to make religion your main business, to spend and be spent for Him. And by the renewing work of the Spirit, do not neglect to take up arms against the rebellion in your heart because some among us in the pews … would have heaven but also have their sins, for they do not mean to part with them. They would have heaven’s rewards and yet hope God would leave them alone in this life. They would co-mingle with the saints of God and outwardly put on heavenly garments but whose hearts are full of hypocrisy, deceiving others and themselves. This issues forth from the heart of a swine and not of a saint … for he would choose to wallow in the hog’s dung of his carnal pleasures, rather than dwell in heavenly mansions with Christ. Without having uttered a word, the lives of men tell us what they think and say in their hearts.

Be plain-hearted for our God is not to be jested with. Our callings are holy callings and not something to draw our sin out of.

Instead of taking heaven by violence, the hypocrite presses against it. These deluded souls exercise all the power in their possession to strenuously drive on toward hell. They will not be persuaded with reason or with God’s word and choose instead to remain in blindness and bondage to the Devil who has taken them captive to do his will. Amazingly, they prefer this to the glorious liberty that they might have in Christ. These prefer the temporary and ephemeral pleasures of sins deceit to the eternal pleasures they would have in Christ, in which there is no greater riches. It is most unreasonable to prefer sin and misery over the beauty and matchless worth of Christ. Though sin may taste sweet for a moment, even to the worldly, it ends with a mouth of gravel. Though walking the narrow way may mean that one carries fewer goods with them in this life, we can still find comfort in the things we lack because these too are supplied by Christ. He gives and takes away, and so we should find solace in that, for He intends their removal for our ultimate good.

But when the Spirit does a true work of grace in a person he/she is both persuaded to renounce worldly lusts and the pride of their own righteousness, and this so that they may cast away all and have no obstacles as they run to Christ. Heaven, and not earth, is most savory to their soul. Their hearts are both possessed and overcome with the beauty and excellence of Christ. They wish to tire themselves out in their pursuit of Him as they love Him more than life itself. Why do they do this? Is it because they naturally overcame the darkness in their own hearts? No, because God calls them by name unto Himself (Acts 2: 39b, 47; 1 Cor 1:24). He gives rest to them and takes their burdens for His own. To these he promises that in no wise will he ever cast them out and no other can pluck them out of His hands.

Lord I pray that you would open the eyes of my unbelieving friends that they would be fully persuaded that the Scripture speaks certain truth … that it is reality and not fiction

JW Hendryx

O, how I pray with you Dr. Hendryx for those friends of ours…


one of the funniest blogs ever…

very clever…

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/